Let's Chat - May 20 - The Past

 For those who were unable to attend the May 20th "Let's Chat", this is a summary of the topics we discussed, with a focus on "the past".  I hope you consider these topics and think about what your own answers would be.

We started out discussing what we may have been taught or knew about  LGBTQ2+ when we were growing up. Was it sinful? Was it a mental illness? Were you taught one thing in Church and another at home?

Next we moved to the discussions and the eventual 1988 United Church General Council declaration that "all persons, regardless of sexual orientation, who profess their faith in Jesus Christ are welcome to be or become members of The United Church of Canada" and that "all members of the United Church are eligible to be considered for ordered ministry." 

Those who were attending KUC at this time, talked about the discussions at that time within our congregation, and how that made them feel.

We continued to the discussions and vote on same-sex marriage in about 2006. Again those who attended those discussions talked about their feelings.

We reflected on the divisions these two decisions caused within our congregation. We talked about what might happen after the Affirm vote.

As we wrapped up, we were asked to think about how we would never be asked to explicitly vote to include Blacks, Indigenous, or women, and why LGBTQ2+ might be different.

We finished with an outline of the parameters of the vote on June 13 when we will finally vote on becoming an Affirming Ministry.

We hope you can join us for our next"Let's Chat" session, May 27 at 7PM, when we will explore "the present".

Pensions and Same Sex Spouses - CN

 On Monday, CBC reported a story about a man who had been denied a survivor's pension from CN because when his same sex partner had retired from CN in 1991, the pension plan did not recognize same sex relationships.

You can read the story here:

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/ken-haire-cn-rail-harbour-grace-same-sex-marriage-1.6008873

 

Today, CN revised their position.

Read about it here:

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/cn-updates-pension-same-sex-partners-1.6014784 

 

Sometimes, just shining a light on an inequity can cause change.

 

Coming Out to Parents

 Being a member of the LGBTQ2+ community can lead to many risks and challenges to one's health, safety and overall well-being. Most parents are very aware of these risks. They long to protect their children from this. However, parents have a vital role to play in helping your children in their coming out.

For many LGBTQ2 the most difficult decision is to come out to family. The family is a primary support to children and youth and the need for acceptance and love when coming out is so very important. The research is clear that those youth who do not receive love and acceptance when coming out are more susceptible to suicide, substance abuse and have difficulty establishing trusting and lasting relationships.

A Mexican Doritos commercial "El mejor regalo" which means "the best gift" is based on a true story and went viral over the holidays reaching more than 15 million on Youtube alone. The story lovingly illustrates the actions that a father takes to support his son - take a look and grab a tissue.

https://www.out.com/media/2021/1/06/father-embraces-gay-son-and-his-boyfriend-sweet-doritos-ad  

Additional resources for families and parents:

https://www.thelinkottawa.ca/en/sexual-health/coming-out.aspx 

 
https://pflagcanada.ca/  

https://www.strongfamilyalliance.org/ 

Declaring the Sanctity of Life & Dignity of All

On December 16th, 2020 a groundbreaking event was held in London, England to declare the sanctity and dignity of LGBT+ lives. It was attended in person and virtually by religious leaders from around the world.  A Declaration was initiated at the meetiing seeking to end worldwide discrimination against LGBT+ including practices such as conversion therapy and crimiinalization of LGBT+ lives.
 
Over 370 religious leaders from numerous religions in 35 countries have signed the Declaration. The signatories include Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and eight other archbishops, the Catholic former president of Ireland Mary McAleese, more than 60 rabbis, and senior Muslims, Sikhs, Hindus and Buddhists.


At the same meeting, a Global Interfaith Commission on LGBT+ Lives was established. The purposes of the Commission include providing the authoritative voices of religious leaders seeking an end to discrimination against LGBT+ people worldwide.

The following link will take you to a short video showing some of these leaders speaking the words of the Declaration. The video is on the Commission website. Signatures of religious leaders continue to be gathered there.
https://globalinterfaith.lgbt
 
It should be noted that the Commission and the Declaration were celebrated at Westminster Abbey. This event was led by the Deans of Westminster and St. Paul's Cathedral and backed by the Government of the U.K. The worldwide Anglican Communion continues to be split over whether to acknowledge LGBT+ rights and full participation in Anglican life. Furthermore many religions worldwide do not acknowledge LGBT+ rights at all. The Declaration signatories are working to change this tragic situation.

We remain in hope that the new year will bring new acceptance for LGBTQ+ people worldwide and look forward to when we can meet with KUC members to determine KUC's commitment to becoming an Affirming Congregation within the United Church of Canada'.  

Further pertinent articles may be found at:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/dec/16/senior-faith-leaders-call-for-global-decriminalisation-of-lgbt-people?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/religious-leaders-call-for-global-ban-on-gay-conversion-therapies/ar-BB1bYPvd?fbclid=IwAR3tcRZtaZWvlqvOU-AEgVatsmhgREAE_V3cS14PrV3NQiIB--tcasmjq8g
 

Twenty Years of Same Sex Marriage

On January 14, 2001, the first same sex marriage was celebrated in Canada. 

You can read the original Toronto Star story, here:

https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2021/01/14/from-the-archives-tears-kisses-and-a-standing-ovation-as-two-gay-couples-tie-the-knot-and-make-history.html

Happily, both couples are still together!

Coming Out Day - October 11

 

 

October 11 is recognized as National Coming Out Day, a way to bring awareness to this sometimes scary, stressful, but important time in the lives of LGBTQ2+ people. 

Parents, and grandparents are often fell concerned that they might say the wrong thing when a child or grandchild comes out to them. 

This YouTube video tries to help.

Does and Don'ts When Your Child Comes Out to You

https://youtu.be/eSY3q6GH1jg

She's Not There : A Book Review

She’s Not There by Jennifer Finney Boylan

Jenny wrote her memoir, She’s Not There, in 2003.  In it, she tells her story of growing up in a loving family as James Boylan, marrying Grace and together having two sons.  At the age of 40, James is unable to continue living as a man and begins his transition to being a woman, Jenny.

Before transitioning James talks with his wife, his mother, and his best friend.

James wife, Grace, is heartbroken to loose her husband, and their family life, with him as a man.  James mother, now in her later years and a conservative Christian woman, wrapped her arms around James and told him, love will prevail. His best friend, Richard, is completely shocked and pledges support.

This is a very sensitive, well-written book of love, kindness and commitment.  I highly recommend it as a great read from Kanata United’s library.