1 Corinthians 12:12-13
12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For in the one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and we were all made to drink of one Spirit.Robert's Message
Paul writes to the Corinthian church which by all accounts seems to have many of the same problems today’s congregations have. We are reminded of our commitment to Christ and that we are all valuable members of the body of Christ. Yet Paul tells them that the body is made up of many individual parts and he equates the function of the many parts of our body to the many structures of the church – all needed to successfully operate.Based on today’s scripture lesson, I’d like to imagine that if written today, perhaps it could also include: If the heart should say, “Because I am not straight, I do not belong to the body,” does that make it any less a part of the body?
I was born gay – the choice was NOT mine.
I was baptized Christian – the choice was MADE for me.
I am a loving homosexual Christian – this choice is PROUDLY mine.
I had a very typical upbringing and really never wanted for anything. As a youth I was caring, confident, sociable and always sought out attention. I enjoyed many church activities. I don’t remember my baptism but was provided the opportunity through confirmation to study, question and make a public declaration. It was celebrated and I remember that there was cake and gifts.
Moving to Ottawa to attend university and then secured employment with the federal government. I fell in love, was married right here in KUC and this congregation has been a safe refuge. And well the adventure of life continues on. I’d like to say that this is the end of the story and the picture I have painted is a happy one – but let me be honest with you – it’s not so easy or so perfect – let me explain.
Being a gay Christian is very hard. Recognizing that I am beyond privileged to live in Canada and be part of the United Church – I am blessed compared to others. Reality is that many Christians have and continue to cause a great deal of suffering to those identifying with other sexual orientations by excluding and marginalizing them, banning marriage, damaging bonds between families and using their power and influence to claim to represent the bible and speak for God. This is an overly generalized statement and does not apply to all Christians; however, more concerning is the larger group of Christians that are silent witness to this behavior. So for Christians in today’s world – is it simply enough to love thy neighbor?
Look at the person sitting next to you.
That person is not the same as you. They don’t look or talk the same, they have their own story. They are unique individuals; they are themselves, diverse gifts mirroring God.
We are all unique in our appearance, character, abilities and in so many other mysterious ways. So is ones sexual orientation not part of this uniqueness? Does the love, warmth and comfort you take in looking at the person next to you disappear if you discover that they are gay? If you know they are struggling, do you offer a helping hand? My friends, many gay Christians are suffering greatly and we need your help.
In 2017, according to the United Nations, 72 countries continue to criminalize homosexuality and there are eight countries in which homosexuality can result in the death penalty. Out of 195 countries in the world, there are only 26 that allow gays to adopt children and 22 that allow gay marriage. The world for the most part isn’t a safe place.
Currently in the Republic of Chechnya there is a gay purge reminiscent of Nazi Germany – concentration camps. Many gay Chechens attempting to flee only to be denied entry because there are only a select few countries that will allow refugee status based on sexual orientation. Canada has welcomed over 30 Chechens. Pressure from the international community has failed to stop one of the most homophobic regimes in their cleansing that has resulted in numerous dead.
I know what your thinking – Chechnya is far away and in the comforts of Canada we’ve done everything we simply can – after all, we enjoy charter rights, equal marriage, a yearly parade with nice rainbow flags and many TV shows and movies now feature non stereotype gay characters – after all, who doesn’t love Anderson Cooper or Ellen.
However, in 2016 the most violent hate crimes in Canada targeted sexual orientation. There were 176 police-reported hate crimes based on sexual orientation which is a 10% increase from the previous year – so things aren’t getting better.
Right, Canada is a big country and out of 36 million people what are a few hate crimes. So let’s bring this closer to home. "He just wanted someone to love him. That's all. And what's wrong with that? Why do people have to be cruel to our children when all they want to do is be loved?" This was Ottawa councilor and Kanata resident Allan Hubley’s comment to CBC in 2011 on the suicide of his 15 year old son Jamie due to depression over bullying, his desperate desire for acceptance and despair over being the only openly gay student at AY Jackson. From Jamie’s suicide note he pleaded "I'm tired of life, really. It's so hard, I'm sorry, I can't take it anymore. I don't want my parents to think this is their fault, either. I love my mom and dad. It's just too hard”. The love and support of family and friends was not enough for Jamie – can you imagine his pain, suffering and hurt – simply because he was gay?
Many campaigns have been successfully launched to prevent suicide, bullying, promote diversity and inclusion, yet suicide rates are staggering: Canadian studies have found that LGBTQ2 youth attempt suicide more than 3 times more frequently and the risk of suicide is 14 times greater than their heterosexual counterparts.
Family support is also a key suicide risk factor. Youth who experienced severe family rejection due to sexual orientation were more than 8 times more likely to report having attempted suicide compared with peers from families with little or no rejection.
45% of transgendered people have attempted suicide.
Harvey Milk, stated that “If you are not personally free to be yourself in that most important of all human activities... the expression of love... then life itself loses its meaning”. Imagine what our communities have lost by so many bright and dynamic individuals not comfortable with their sexual orientation, couldn’t find a safe refuge or supportive environment to realize their full potential.
Discovering that you are different from societal norms during teen years is difficult. An entire range of emotions that ANY teen goes through is magnified and complicated for gay youth by not having readily available resources, people to speak with or trust or not knowing where the safe spaces are. Simply left feeling alone and often marginalized – and social media has only made the situation for many worse. My coming out story is relatively boring. Difficult conversations, tears and challenges in explaining or educating and unlike my baptism or confirmation – no applause, no cake or no gifts. BUT over time I have received unconditional love, support and help from many making it easy to be a confidant gay man – having not had this positive outcome, I could see myself being part of the very sad statistics I shared and possibly not being here today. And while life is much easier for me today than for the gay pioneers before me – there is still much to be done and the need to remain ever vigilant.
I appreciate we’ve struggled and it’s been difficult to have open conversations over ordination of homosexuals and same sex marriage where we have lost members and friends – so very difficult and painful.
Returning to the scripture, Paul clearly illustrates that we do not have the same gifts, while we differ greatly, we are nonetheless ALL vital and important. The church, not the building, is an organism made of up of many parts, yet it is still a cohesive unit, functioning as one.
KUC functions as one and is also made up of many parts – we are not all the same, and this is what is needed to support exploring an affirming ministry. Affirming Ministries are congregations that publically declare their commitment to inclusion and justice for people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. They continually grow and change as they seek to live more fully into God’s way of welcome, love, and justice for all creation. They are safe spaces.
Kathy Beamish, Kate Chamberlain, Margaret McGarry and myself are your task force that will lead us through this process. Each KUC committee has been asked to put forward ideas and thoughts in how they can support this work. To make this a reality we need many hands, we need your help and support through a process of discernment and reflection – what does this mean? Step forward, don’t remain in the shadows, volunteer, attend events, voice concerns, ask questions and push your committees and Council to make this a reality. Become comfortable with all of our different parts.
To do as what Paul has suggested, when you are able to appreciate and recognize diversity and be open to inclusion, you begin to understand what the church is – you feel and exude love and have the same care for one another.
There are many that dream of being part of a Christian community that is diverse, inclusive and a safe space. KUC needs to take extra steps to include and recognize members of different sexual orientations and gender identities as part of its body. There are crying needs to be a safe space for all in our community. I’ll end with this final thought – please help us do this important work and make life better for someone – you could be helping the person sitting next to you, your neighbour, child or grandchild or other family member or some future generation that could possibly include a Jamie Hubley or Robert Ashton or many unnamed others that only need to know that there is a safe space HERE at Kanata United.
