Wednesday, June 9, 2021

Westport Raises Pride Flags

 

Driving through Westport this week you’ll notice Pride flags flying.  Wesport residents, Jessica Roberts and Neil Kudrinko asked Westport Council to declare an official Pride Week, and raise a Pride flag. As they told CBC's Robyn Bresnahan, “It needs to be said outwardly that you are welcome here, you are safe here, and that your community has your back”.  People who identify as LGBTQ2+ need to know they are safe and Westport is showing that! 

When you are in Westport, Kudrinko’s grocer is an excellent store.  For a start, try the cheese bread they bake daily.


 
 
 
Jessica Roberts, left, and Neil Kudrinko, right have asked Wesport to erect a 'progress' Pride flag as a sign of support and inclusion. In addition to rainbow stripes, it includes a chevron meant to include BIPOC and trans people within the LGBTQ community. (Hallie Cotnam/CBC)

Friday, June 4, 2021

Let's Chat - June 3 - Imagining the Future

Our last Let's Chat focused on what a future as an Affirming Ministry might look like at Kanata United.

We first talked about outward signs to our community. Ideas included rainbow crosswalks, inviting the community to use our outdoor space, signs, flags. Most of the ideas involved letting the community know that ours is a safe space. 

We moved inward, to how we might show inclusion in our physical space, our groups and committees, and our worship. Learning to use inclusive language, continuing our efforts with learning events, the Affirm table, the library, and symbols on the bulletin boards and in our worship spaces. Music has always had a big presence in our church community and this is another place we can show inclusion.

Moving outside our space, we tried to dream big. Ideas included advocacy for seniors, helping LTC workers understand the issues, working toward an inclusive retirement residence. We also talked about working with local schools to provide resources, and space. Refugee sponsorship for people in danger because of their sexual orientation. 

We also discussed whether being openly affirming might dissuade people from coming to our church. 

The Affirm Leadership Team would like to thank everyone who came to our "Let's Chat" sessions. You came, you talked, you were open and thoughtful.  The group was made up of a wide representation of the congregation, all ages, old faces, and new. We feel ready, now, to move ahead with our congregational meeting on June 13.

We ask that you read the letter that we sent out this week, and "come" to church on June 13, as we vote on becoming an Affirming Ministry.

Friday, May 28, 2021

Let's Chat - May 27 - The Present

For those who were unable to participate in the "Let's Chat" discussion on May 27, focused on "The Present", here is a summary of the topics we discussed. I hope you will think about how you might have responded to these topics.

We started by looking at the world outside of Canada. In many countries in the world, same-sex relationships are still illegal and in some countries, the offense carries a death penalty. Canada was the first country in the world to recognize danger due to sexual orientation as grounds for a refugee claim. 

We next discussed "conversion therapy" which is the practice of trying to change an individual's sexual orientation using psychological, physical or spiritual interventions. Many of the practitioners of this "therapy' are ministers, or claim to be called by God. Parents often coerce their children into this "therapy" by telling them that they are not welcome in the family unless they change who they are. conversion therapy has lead to mental illness, homelessness, addiction and suicide in young people. In Canada, a bill banning this is currently in third reading.

We moved on to a discussion of Charter Rights in Canada. While the Charter promises equality regardless of sexual orientation, it also guarantees religious freedom, and these two guarantees are often at odds. Some examples are seen within religious based schools. Churches may discriminate based on sexual orientation.

We spent some time talking about young people and the kinds of initiatives are occurring within schools. We also touched on the internet and how social networking can be a good place for marginalized groups to get together, as well as a place where harm and abuse can occur.

Finally, we recognized that there is still work to be done for seniors. Same-sex couples in committed long term relationships are often forced to hide their orientation when one of the couple must move to long term care. The relationship is often not recognized or accommodated by the facility.  

We again finished with a discussion of how the vote to become an affirming ministry will be organized on June 13. We were all asked to tell 5 people about what is happening, and invite them to participate.

Our final "Let's Chat" session will be held on June 3 @7PM . At that time, we will talk about "The Future" and where becoming an affirming ministry could take us as a congregation. Please join us.

Friday, May 21, 2021

Let's Chat - May 20 - The Past

 For those who were unable to attend the May 20th "Let's Chat", this is a summary of the topics we discussed, with a focus on "the past".  I hope you consider these topics and think about what your own answers would be.

We started out discussing what we may have been taught or knew about  LGBTQ2+ when we were growing up. Was it sinful? Was it a mental illness? Were you taught one thing in Church and another at home?

Next we moved to the discussions and the eventual 1988 United Church General Council declaration that "all persons, regardless of sexual orientation, who profess their faith in Jesus Christ are welcome to be or become members of The United Church of Canada" and that "all members of the United Church are eligible to be considered for ordered ministry." 

Those who were attending KUC at this time, talked about the discussions at that time within our congregation, and how that made them feel.

We continued to the discussions and vote on same-sex marriage in about 2006. Again those who attended those discussions talked about their feelings.

We reflected on the divisions these two decisions caused within our congregation. We talked about what might happen after the Affirm vote.

As we wrapped up, we were asked to think about how we would never be asked to explicitly vote to include Blacks, Indigenous, or women, and why LGBTQ2+ might be different.

We finished with an outline of the parameters of the vote on June 13 when we will finally vote on becoming an Affirming Ministry.

We hope you can join us for our next"Let's Chat" session, May 27 at 7PM, when we will explore "the present".

Wednesday, May 5, 2021

Pensions and Same Sex Spouses - CN

 On Monday, CBC reported a story about a man who had been denied a survivor's pension from CN because when his same sex partner had retired from CN in 1991, the pension plan did not recognize same sex relationships.

You can read the story here:

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/ken-haire-cn-rail-harbour-grace-same-sex-marriage-1.6008873

 

Today, CN revised their position.

Read about it here:

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/cn-updates-pension-same-sex-partners-1.6014784 

 

Sometimes, just shining a light on an inequity can cause change.

 

Wednesday, March 3, 2021

Coming Out to Parents

 Being a member of the LGBTQ2+ community can lead to many risks and challenges to one's health, safety and overall well-being. Most parents are very aware of these risks. They long to protect their children from this. However, parents have a vital role to play in helping your children in their coming out.

For many LGBTQ2 the most difficult decision is to come out to family. The family is a primary support to children and youth and the need for acceptance and love when coming out is so very important. The research is clear that those youth who do not receive love and acceptance when coming out are more susceptible to suicide, substance abuse and have difficulty establishing trusting and lasting relationships.

A Mexican Doritos commercial "El mejor regalo" which means "the best gift" is based on a true story and went viral over the holidays reaching more than 15 million on Youtube alone. The story lovingly illustrates the actions that a father takes to support his son - take a look and grab a tissue.

https://www.out.com/media/2021/1/06/father-embraces-gay-son-and-his-boyfriend-sweet-doritos-ad  

Additional resources for families and parents:

https://www.thelinkottawa.ca/en/sexual-health/coming-out.aspx 

 
https://pflagcanada.ca/  


https://www.strongfamilyalliance.org/ 

Wednesday, February 10, 2021

Declaring the Sanctity of Life & Dignity of All

On December 16th, 2020 a groundbreaking event was held in London, England to declare the sanctity and dignity of LGBT+ lives. It was attended in person and virtually by religious leaders from around the world.  A Declaration was initiated at the meetiing seeking to end worldwide discrimination against LGBT+ including practices such as conversion therapy and crimiinalization of LGBT+ lives.
 
Over 370 religious leaders from numerous religions in 35 countries have signed the Declaration. The signatories include Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and eight other archbishops, the Catholic former president of Ireland Mary McAleese, more than 60 rabbis, and senior Muslims, Sikhs, Hindus and Buddhists.


At the same meeting, a Global Interfaith Commission on LGBT+ Lives was established. The purposes of the Commission include providing the authoritative voices of religious leaders seeking an end to discrimination against LGBT+ people worldwide.

The following link will take you to a short video showing some of these leaders speaking the words of the Declaration. The video is on the Commission website. Signatures of religious leaders continue to be gathered there.
https://globalinterfaith.lgbt
 
It should be noted that the Commission and the Declaration were celebrated at Westminster Abbey. This event was led by the Deans of Westminster and St. Paul's Cathedral and backed by the Government of the U.K. The worldwide Anglican Communion continues to be split over whether to acknowledge LGBT+ rights and full participation in Anglican life. Furthermore many religions worldwide do not acknowledge LGBT+ rights at all. The Declaration signatories are working to change this tragic situation.

We remain in hope that the new year will bring new acceptance for LGBTQ+ people worldwide and look forward to when we can meet with KUC members to determine KUC's commitment to becoming an Affirming Congregation within the United Church of Canada'.  

Further pertinent articles may be found at:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/dec/16/senior-faith-leaders-call-for-global-decriminalisation-of-lgbt-people?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/religious-leaders-call-for-global-ban-on-gay-conversion-therapies/ar-BB1bYPvd?fbclid=IwAR3tcRZtaZWvlqvOU-AEgVatsmhgREAE_V3cS14PrV3NQiIB--tcasmjq8g