LGBTQ2+ - What does the B stand for?

The “B” stands for “Bisexuals”. This refers to “people who are attracted to more than one sex or gender”.1 This much is usually understood but do we know anything about life’s challenges for those among us who are bisexual?

According to the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (Ontario), “The “B” has often been left out of LGBT research; studies that lump together LGBT people when comparing them to heterosexual people often overlook the unique experiences of each population, particularly the “B” and the “T”.  Research that does explore the health of bisexual people indicates that bisexual people often have poorer health outcomes compared to both lesbian and gay populations and the heterosexual population.”.2

There are clear reasons for this. The Rainbow Health Ontario website states: “Bisexuals may experience biphobia, negative attitudes and discrimination from LGBT2SQ communities, straight communities and the health care system.”3 So bisexual people are generally potentially vulnerable.

To see Rainbow Health Ontario’s anti-stigma videos, please see: https://www.rainbowhealthontario.ca/bisexual-health/

“Erasure” is a very common experience for bisexuals. Erasure is when people are not known for who they truly are because they fear revealing their identity. For example, a bisexual person is assumed to be heterosexual if they have an opposite sex partner and if they do not feel safe in being known as bisexual. Likewise, if their partner is of the same sex, they are assumed to be homosexual. Coming out as what they are – bisexual – is usually risky in either case because of stigma. Some people who are bisexual do not even tell their partner about it for the same reason. Depression can result from hiding their identity or being excluded from community if their true identity is known.

For a Ted Talk on this subject, please see: “Bisexuality: The Invisible Letter "B".| Misty Gedlinske, TEDxOshkosh at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oa6AnOCQD50.

Happily, more is being learned and understood about bisexuality - a biological phenomenon in the same manner as heterosexuality and homosexuality. The more that communities can learn and understand about this and all the LGBTQ2+ communities, the better for everyone.



1 Re:searching for LGBTQ Health. Bisexual Community. CAMH. Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (Ontario). https://www.lgbtqhealth.ca/community/bisexual.php
2 Re:searching for LGBTQ Health. Bisexual Community. CAMH. Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (Ontario). https://www.lgbtqhealth.ca/community/bisexual.php
3 Rainbow Health Ontario, Sherbourne Health
https://www.rainbowhealthontario.ca/bisexual-health/

Prize Winning Starbucks Ad

Annual reports,  a presentation for the annual meeting, and making sure we are ready for the Special Congregation Meeting has taken a back seat to the blog lately. We will try to get back to once a week postings.

As an uplifting first post of the new year, here is a commercial that won Starbucks a diversity award in Great Britain.

https://youtu.be/pcSP1r9eCWw

Starbucks comment on the commercial was this:

At Starbucks, writing your name on a cup and calling it out is a symbol of our warm welcome. It’s a small gesture, but it's symbolic of what we believe in: Recognition and acceptance, whoever you are, or want to be. We welcome everyone. 

Advent 4 - Love

Love is a flame that burns in our heart.

I have been a member of the United Church of Canada since birth.  The most important lesson I have learned from the United Church is the challenge to
Love God, Self and Neighbour.

When Robert Ashton called for people to form an Affirm team, I thought long and hard.  For all my life, good friends, close relatives and supportive coworkers, who identify as LGBTQ2, have been an important part of my life.  But I have always been a quiet companion.  I thought, Kathy, sometimes you need to step up, stand beside your friends and not be so quiet.  I realized now was the time! 

Being a member of Kanata United’s Affirm Leadership Team has and is the best and most worthwhile initiative I have been part of over my 66 years with the United Church of Canada! 

So why did I join?   I joined to learn how to be a more accepting person, to be a good ally to LGBTQ2 folk, help build an accepting community, be a member of an intentionally inclusive church that welcomes all!

When I had the honor of walking with many United Church folk in the PRIDE parade this August, one church member had a sign that read
Love is Love is Love!

I believe God wants me to Love God, Self and Neighbour.  And Love is Love is Love!

Love is a flame that burns in our heart.
Jesus has come and will never depart.*

* "Hope is a Star" - by Brian Wren, Voices United #7

Advent 3 - Joy

One of the scripture readings for this third Sunday in Advent is Isaiah 35:1-10. It is all about joy.

The reading reminds one of the joy of this year’s Pride Parade. Contrasting with the day-to-day lives of LGBTQ2+ people - having to avoid holding hands or share a caring and loving glance - at the Parade everyone was wearing bright colours and singing and dancing, so happy to celebrate being themselves - no shame, no fear, just being.

From Isaiah 35: 1-2, “...The desert shall rejoice and blossom; like the crocus it shall blossom abundantly and rejoice with joy and singing".

We United Church marchers with church banners flying and ministerial collars showing, saw a great welcome at Pride- so many people thrilled to see a church that welcomes them, accepts them as they are. What a joy to humbly do as Isaiah asks in 35:4, "Say to those who are of a fearful heart, 'Be strong, do not fear! Here is your God.'"

God of joy and exultation,
you strengthen what is weak;
you enrich the poor
and give hope to those who live in fear.
Look upon our needs this day.
Make us grateful for the good news of salvation
and keep us faithful in your service
until the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ,
who lives for ever and ever. Amen*

*Vanderbilt Divinity Library. The Revised Common Lectionary. Prayer for the Third Sunday of Advent. https://lectionary.library.vanderbilt.edu/prayers.php?id=3

Joy is a song that welcomes the dawn,
Telling the world that the Saviour is born.*

* "Hope is a Star" - by Brian Wren, Voices United #7

Advent 2 - Peace

Holy one,

 May Your peace surround me,

May Your peace be shown through me,

May Your peace extend throughout the world.

Amen

When I was asked to write an advent message for the KUC affirm blog I didn’t know what to say.  I don’t just mean should I do it or not but that I didn’t know what I could say, what I should say.  I am married, with children and grandchildren.  I am a registered Early Childhood Educator and worked with very young children for a very long time and I felt I didn’t have enough personal life experience with the LGBTQIA2s+ community to comment.  However like the prophets of old I thought I heard ‘yes, you’. I am a member of KUC and I am in support of KUC becoming an affirming congregation, so here is my peace dialogue for advent.

My previous United Church of Canada congregation in Winnipeg is an affirming congregation.  It became one over twenty years ago.  That wasn’t a big change for our church- we still had the same church, same people, same music, same symbols of worship, cross, font, and Bible.  The changes were small-rainbows on the outside door, a rainbow banner as you enter the building.  We could say we were welcoming to everyone and that this was a congregation that accepted you for yourself, be welcome and worship with us.

My advent hope for peace is that KUC will be a light that shines in the dark so that all who come to KUC will know immediately that they are welcome and this is a place where they may find peace and safety.  Our rainbow Christ candles, banners and mission statement will be in evidence and everyone will know that this is a safe place. No one need enter our doors and worry that they will be rejected, hurt or criticized.  Without having to say anything it will be easily recognizable that here are the symbols of inclusion and here is peace and safety.  I believe that affirming will mean inclusion for absolutely everyone and I know that KUC also hopes for this for anyone wishing to attend and that we are a congregation seeking our Creator’s wholeness, inclusion and justice.
 
The Advent peace candle and the signs of an affirming congregation show that anyone can safely walk through these doors and be affirmed and welcomed exactly as they are and who they are.  The outward visible symbols will show that KUC has made a public, intentional and explicit statement that we support members of the LGBTQIA2s+ and their loved ones.  Here there will be acceptance and peace and safety. Really, it is only what we all desire and are striving for- that this church should be a place where we can be loved, accepted and welcomed just as we are, just as God had made us and named us, wholly, beautifully and wondrously.

“Peace is a ribbon that circles the earth, giving the promise of safety and worth”*


The Affirm Leadership Team would like to thank Kathi Campbell for answering the call for a meditation on Peace for our Advent Series.

* "Hope is a Star" - by Brian Wren, Voices United #7

Advent 1 - Hope

Many years, during Advent, we sing “Hope is a star, that shines in the night, leading us on till the morning is bright.”*

In Ontario, parents may ask their children to leave their home at the age of 16, if the child doesn’t agree to follow the parents’ rules. Many young people, when they reveal to their parents that they are gay, are asked to leave if they refuse to give up what the parents believe to be a sinful life. Often, parents are advised by their religious leaders that they must adopt this stance, either to “protect” the other children in the home, or to force the young people to conform to the norms of the parents’ religious group.

Many young people choose to leave. In Ottawa, it is estimated that 1,500 young people are homeless. LGBTQ2+ youth represent as much as 40% of these. Many of these young people cannot or will not go to shelters. Some shelters have a minimum age of 18. LGBTQ2+ young people also fear violence from homophobia in shelters.  So they live on the streets. Hope is hard to find in that situation.

Barak Obama said “This is our first task - caring for our children. If we don’t get that right, we don’t get anything right. That’s how, as a society, we will be judged.”

My hope, this Advent, is that every child be warm, safe, and cared for. May the star of Hope show us the way to making this happen.


Information for this post came from this article:
https://charlatan.ca/2017/12/youth-homelessness-in-ottawa-the-most-at-risk-people-in-the-capital/


* "Hope is a Star" - by Brian Wren, Voices United #7

Why am I On the Affirm Leadership Team? - Kathy Beamish

I have been a member of the United Church of Canada

since birth.  The most important lesson I have learned

from the United Church is the challenge to

Love God, Self and Neighbour.

When Robert Ashton called for people to form an Affirm team, I thought long and hard.  For all my life, good friends, close relatives and supportive coworkers, who identify as LGBTQ2, have been an important part of my life.  But I have always been a quiet companion.  I thought, Kathy, sometimes you need to step up, stand beside your friends and not be so quiet.  I realized now was the time! 

Being a member of Kanata United’s Affirm Leadership Team has and is the best and most worthwhile initiative I have been part of over my 66 years with the United Church of Canada! 

So why did I join?   I joined to

-    - learn how to be a more accepting person

-    - be a good ally to LGBTQ2 folk

-    - help build an accepting community

-    - be a member of an intentionally inclusive church

-    - enjoy and welcome all!

When I had the honor of walking with many United Church folk in the PRIDE parade this August, one church member had a sign that read

Love is Love is Love!

I believe God wants me to Love God, Self and Neighbour.  And Love is Love is Love!